In pieces
I will let
myself down.
I will wake up tired
and fall into bed, exhausted.
I will forget my friends;
messages left unread, unsent, misunderstood.
Or my friends will forget me,
moving along in the same routines
while I adjust and re-adjust and re-adjust
to a new schedule wrought with new challenges, new heartbreak.
Someone will leave their lunch tray
behind during tutoring and ground
their gum into the carpet, teeth imprints still visible.
My students will hate me, refusing
to follow rules, to work, to learn.
I will be entirely unequipped
and unqualified to teach my students
anything at all.
No matter how much research I do,
how many articles I read, I'll always fall short. If my students don't
leave my class
completely unprepared for life,
they'll leave my class at least unprepared for
the next grade level, unable to write a complete sentence, identify parts of speech,
and without any sense of how to behave
in any social setting whatsoever.
There are tales of men, and women.
Tales of men who are courageous, willing, strong.
Tales of women who overcome obstacles with
strength, dignity, and grace.
These men and women harbor a deep secret
within their hearts.
Through the struggle and the fear, these men
and women
tuck bits and pieces of their lives away.
Some pieces stay lodged in their hearts, their minds, their journals,
to remind them of the victories.
Other pieces are dislodged and discarded; not forgotten--
instead unremembered.
Every hug, high-five, shout-out across the hallway;
every smile, joke, story told
is a piece to be tucked away.
I will wake up tired
and fall into bed, exhausted.
I will forget my friends;
messages left unread, unsent, misunderstood.
Or my friends will forget me,
moving along in the same routines
while I adjust and re-adjust and re-adjust
to a new schedule wrought with new challenges, new heartbreak.
Someone will leave their lunch tray
behind during tutoring and ground
their gum into the carpet, teeth imprints still visible.
My students will hate me, refusing
to follow rules, to work, to learn.
I will be entirely unequipped
and unqualified to teach my students
anything at all.
No matter how much research I do,
how many articles I read, I'll always fall short. If my students don't
leave my class
completely unprepared for life,
they'll leave my class at least unprepared for
the next grade level, unable to write a complete sentence, identify parts of speech,
and without any sense of how to behave
in any social setting whatsoever.
There are tales of men, and women.
Tales of men who are courageous, willing, strong.
Tales of women who overcome obstacles with
strength, dignity, and grace.
These men and women harbor a deep secret
within their hearts.
Through the struggle and the fear, these men
and women
tuck bits and pieces of their lives away.
Some pieces stay lodged in their hearts, their minds, their journals,
to remind them of the victories.
Other pieces are dislodged and discarded; not forgotten--
instead unremembered.
Every hug, high-five, shout-out across the hallway;
every smile, joke, story told
is a piece to be tucked away.
Miss Bryan,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your willingness to share your fears and apprehensions! It has been an extremely hard adjust for me and I'm sure it is for our other classmates as well. I love that you are able to see the glimmers of sunshine through the clouds - keep looking for them! Also, you should give yourself more credit! You're amazing and only getting better.
Miss Bryan,
ReplyDeleteI love this poem. I love that you were able to take what we read in class and craft it into your own piece. My favorite part was your ending because sometimes it really is the high fives and the fist bumps that transform a rough day into a good one: knowing that you really do get through sometimes, even if its only a smile or a simple form of acknowledgement. Like you shared on my own post, I encourage you to share this poem and the whole modeling concept with your students! You are doing a wonderful job! We're all struggling right now but we're here. We have what it takes.
Miss Bryan,
ReplyDeleteI understand your fears! I feel you when you say that you will let yourself down. My biggest fear (and still is) would be that my students would not understand what I was trying to say or teach to them. But the truth is, sometimes that will happen. And it's only a lesson for us. What can we do differently next time that will help them succeed?
We all have our weaknesses, but we have our strengths too! But your fears that you expressed are definitely true. We all worry about the wrath we could face from our students, but I think at the end of the day, they are just fears. If they come true, they come true (what are we going to do?) but it doesn't do us any good to focus on them. I loved writing in this way to kind of release these fears into the wild, but I still have them. We all do!
Keep going strong!
Mr. Naylor
Miss Bryan,
ReplyDelete"If my students don't
leave my class
completely unprepared for life,
they'll leave my class at least unprepared for
the next grade level, unable to write a complete sentence, identify parts of speech,
and without any sense of how to behave
in any social setting whatsoever."
Gah - YES! You nailed it 100% on the head. This student teaching stuff is not for the weak of heart or will - it is hard work facing those students every day and being responsible for teaching them. Thank for being so open and honest about your fears - I think so many of use share them but we're reluctant to really express them. You put them out there in this work and all I can do it nod my head along with you as I (and I suspect many of us) feel the same way. I love how you ended your piece especially - those little acknowledgements tell the real story in my opinion. You are reaching them and your students are better people for having you lead them. :)
You have aptly captured the fears of student teachers. Each wants so desperately to succeed, to help their students to succeed. I especially love your ending: "Every hug, high-five, shout-out across the hallway, every smile, joke, story told is a piece to be tucked away." Some days, those pieces are what keep you going. I still keep those pieces safely tucked away. Love your poem!
ReplyDeleteMs. Bryan, I love how you've imitated Bass's structure--particularly the lines that Ms. Tolbert points out above (love the rhythm there!), but you've also transformed that structure by removing the "you" and writing it in first person. It makes the piece feel even more honest and poignant.
ReplyDeleteI love the image of the gum with teeth imprints still visible--ha! Thanks for sharing your fears and, as Mr. Naylor writes, releasing them into the wild. Love this poem!