Succeeding in seventh grade English class can be
difficult. There are all sorts of rules and expectations. To ease the stress, I
have complied ways to be successful in this English class; common sense clearly
is not enough.
First, forget all the assigned
reading. Spark Notes: Your new best friend. Put minimal effort into your work.
Fume when you get less than an “A.” Forget to turn assignments in. Then, insist
that the teacher lost ALL of your work. When you find it in your locker, blame
the janitor. Certainly, YOU didn’t leave it there. Of course not.
Take a nap during class. Sleep
right through it. Then become enraged that your teacher won’t repeat
instructions once you have woken up. Be annoyed. Annoyed that you even had to
wake up. Annoyed that you have homework. Annoyed that you, once again, must sit
through this class.
While you are sitting through
the most boring class on the planet, feel free to chat up your classmates.
Loudly. Distract everyone around you. Throw crumpled up paper. At the trashcan.
At your classmates. At my desk. At me. Better yet, shred your assignment sheets
into confetti and throw it up in the air yelling, “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Then, look
confused as to why you are receiving a detention.
Clearly, this is the way to be
most successful in this class.
